WASHINGTON — The United States of America remains reportedly resolute in acting as if Republican Senator Mitch McConnell is still alive despite mounting evidence to the contrary, sources you can definitely trust report. “Senator McConnell is more alive than anyone has ever been.” White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt assured reporters Friday evening. “Just this morning, I saw him doing cartwheels in front of the Capitol building. The man is fine, great actually. We’ve

WASHINGTON -- Last week, Democrats in both the House and Senate held out against their Republican counterparts, demanding immediate ICE reform However, several Congressional Democrats have already confirmed that they are willing to settle for much, much less. "Obviously, we hope to finally put a stop to the atrocities being carried out by the DHS." said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, "But at the same time, diplomacy is all about compromise, and we're willing to give u