WHITE HOUSE — As the war in Iran continues, Iranian State Media has taken to social media with Lego themed AI videos. Up until yesterday these videos were seen as harmless good natured ribbing. But then Iranian State Media took it one step too far. After the usual cracks at foreign policy, Lego effigies of the nation's leaders threatened to deploy The Masters of Spinjitzu. President Trump responded within minutes on Truth Social. “THESE CRAZY BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DALLAS, TX — Wait times at airports hit astronomical highs last weekend due to the ongoing shortage of TSA agents willing to work for free. The government was forced to reallocate some resources, as Texas Governor Greg Abott explained to the press. “We said, 'Okay. These lazy fucks won’t work for free. So who do we know that’ll give people invasive pat downs and search their shit, just for the love of the game?' Then it hit me, ICE!!!” But the Immigration and Customs Enforc

MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, ND — Senior Airman Frank Holland was among the first Americans to foresee the oncoming conflict with Iran, when late last February he discovered nearly all of the ballistics stored in his facility displayed a best by date of March 1st, 2026. In an interview with reporters last week, Airman Holland further explained the weight of his discovery. “Do you have any idea what the budget request was for the U.S. Military in 2025? 849.8 Billion Dollars!" exclai