Over the last few days, you may have seen a sly little fable the libs are passing around, alleging that our smart, healthy, capable and healthy leader, President Donald J. Trump, shit his pants during a televised press conference. I hope I do not have to tell you, good Patriotic reader, that this claim is a complete fabrication with absolutely no basis in reality. But, even if our brave Commander-in-Chief had shit himself: Who cares? For starters, Trump is far from the first

WASHINGTON – Nearly a century after the historic passing of the Fair Labor Standards Act, United States’ Federal Minimum Wage will be officially retired, according to a bill passed by Congress last week. “Recently, we’ve seen a lot of local businesses across all industries try to help consumers by offering more affordable ‘pay what you can’ options for their products and services,” explained Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “But we know a lot of employers have been strug

TOBY’S TOY’S, CHICAGO — Like many toy stores, Toby’s is a place for joy. A place where dreams come true and excited kids get to take home their favorite toys. But for one such toy this is also a place of existential dread.  “When I was first shipped in I thought I was the same as any other Rubix Cube. But then as we were all getting put on the shelf, I found out something different was in store for me. Toby himself takes me out of my box and puts me back on the shelf naked as

FORT WORTH, TX — 14 Year Old Riley Jackson had heard about the cuts to school spending across the country. But having attended school online for the past three years, Riley assumed that he would be unaffected. This rapidly proved not to be the case as Riley’s Mother/Principal would tell you.  “We run a pretty tight ship here at Jackson Family Education. Our student body is currently a single student. You would think with class sizes this small we would be able to stretch our