OPINION: Nobody Cared When Obama Shit Himself

Over the last few days, you may have seen a sly little fable the libs are passing around, alleging that our smart, healthy, capable and healthy leader, President Donald J. Trump, shit his pants during a televised press conference.

I hope I do not have to tell you, good Patriotic reader, that this claim is a complete fabrication with absolutely no basis in reality. But, even if our brave Commander-in-Chief had shit himself: Who cares?

For starters, Trump is far from the first president to shit himself. In fact, President Ronald Reagan was known to leave quite the skid mark inside the Presidential Limousine. However, I'd like to draw your attention to a much less-discussed instance of Executive Incontinence. I am referring, of course, to when former President Barack Obama soiled himself during the 2012 White House Correspondents Dinner.

Jimmy Kimmel had just told a predictably milquetoast "zinger" comparing President Obama to a con-man, and in a moment of panic after the joke had, much like a Yemeni drone strike, landed too close to home, Barack shit his pants. And what was the response from the Democratic Party, who now claim to be so anti-bowel leakage? Crickets. No media outrage, no questioning the President's health, no mention of the 25th amendment. Just blind obedience as always.

So what does this prove? Well, the Dems are obviously incompetent sheep who hold any leader who doesn't "pass the vibe check" to absurd double standards. I would even go one step further and make the claim that those hoping to make a story out of the President's Personal Business must be Professional Agitators paid off by Big Fiber! I do not know when this collusion took place, but I do know this: I will not stand for this scatological SLANDER and neither should you.