LOS ANGELES — Documentary fans and scorned people everywhere are talking about the release of Netflix's upcoming documentary Fucked Up: Finding Out Why You Just Said That. Despite the documentary still not being slated for release until later this year, it already promises to be one of the most controversial pieces of its kind, as told by Netflix Chief Content Officer Bela Bajaria. "We just knew that this story needed to be told." said Bajaria. "Because, frankly, what you jus

WASHINGTON — Former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem has been handpicked to lead a local kill shelter close to the Capitol, President Trump announced in a press conference Saturday. The move comes after President Trump's removal of Kristi Noem from her post as head of Homeland Security last week, with President Trump expressing high hopes for her new position. "Frankly, I think Kristi is going to do very well in her new role." said President Trump, "She was doing absolutely spectacu

STATEN ISLAND  — Local mother Constance Holeman was stunned last Tuesday after a parent teacher conference at Richmond Middle School. According to teachers, Holeman's eleven-year-old son Aran was deemed functionally Illiterate.  “I was thrilled!” Said Holeman, “I was worried for a while that my baby boy was just going to be another nobody, but his teachers told me that due to his record-low reading comprehension scores he’s being moved straight to the school's 'Influencer tra

2.5 Stars. Why are they dancing? The Pats are losing.