CHICAGO — Local urgent care clinic Guardian Immediate Care is reportedly proud to provide desperate Chicagoans, victimized by a predatory healthcare system, with clinical help that can be accurately described as neither “urgent” nor “care”, uninsured sources confirmed. “My college buddies and I started Guardian Immediate Care with one simple mission,” said Guardian Founder and CEO Karl Estes. “That mission was to find Chicagoans throughout the community in dire need of medica

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local woman Annie LaSalle was shocked during a routine psychiatry appointment last week when her psychiatrist of three years, Dr. Leslie Eckert, prescribed LaSalle no less than three hours of scrolling, to be undertaken twice per day. “I mean, it sounded odd at first, but I guess she’s the doctor,” said LaSalle, who has struggled with General Anxiety Disorder since she was a teen. “If she thinks that firing up Instagram and burning through maybe 300, 400 re

UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO MEDICAL CENTER — 25 Year Old Spencer Carlisle was admitted to an urgent care late Wednesday night, displaying a wide array of symptoms. After a battery of testing, professionals within the facility were unable to diagnose the root cause of any of Spencer's ailments and he was then airlifted to The University of Chicago Medical Center for intensive care. While at the facility, Spencer was prescribed miscellaneous pills which seemed to do the trick. But a

EDEN CREEK, Minn. – Local United Healthcare adjuster Tom Warner was absolutely baffled last week after hearing you dare request coverage for something you called “insulin,” claims-processing sources report. “I understand that your doctor prescribed it and you’ve taken it your entire life,” Warner shouted into a telephone, “It’s just I never heard of no damn… what’s it called? Instagram? This just really doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that your health insurance needs to b