JCPenney Photo Studio Willing to Shoot Nudes

JCPENNY PORTRAITS — Known for their affordable photoshoot’s. The JCPenney Photo Studio has become iconic over the years. However, with times changing and retail stores across the country dropping like flies, executives at JCPenney made the choice to diversify. 

“For years we’ve been known for tasteful and affordable photography, and none of that is going to change.” said Brand CEO Michelle Wlazlo. “Just because we’re willing to take some photos of your butthole doesn’t mean they won’t still have that familiar JCPenney style that we’ve become known for.” 

In an attempt to diversify the brand, JCPenney is now offering professional nude photoshoots for $24 per person. Wlazlo confirmed that the idea came to her after another in a long series of online dating fiascos. 

“Trust me, if you’ve been on the online dating scene anytime in the last decade, you’d know the state of amateur nude photography is at an all time low. The angles are all over the place, the lighting is often atrocious. Usually the pics I get have so many glaring compositional issues I can’t even focus on the person's genitals. I think if more people had easy access to professional photographers willing to shoot this kind of thing, the world could be a much prettier place or at least a more honest one.” 

Rachel Fields has been a photographer at JCPenney for nearly five years. While she describes the change as “unexpected” she says she welcomes the new stream of revenue. 

“You can only do so many family photoshoots before the days start blending together,” said Fields. “It’s just not what I originally got into the business for. I, like every photographer, got into this business to forever capture images of naked strangers. Thanks to this new policy I’ve been doing just that and making bank while doing it.”

In addition to offering both solo and couples nude shoots. JCPenney will also be offering, Cock Ratings, Tasteful Enhancement, and complimentary 24” x 36” print outs of your photos at select locations.  

At press time, JCPenney has made more in the last three months shooting naked photos than they have selling sweaters over the past decade. Some locations are looking to abandon their retail sections entirely, opting for larger spaces and elaborate backdrops to “usher in the new era of nude photography”.