Man Trapped in Labyrinth of His Own Making Secretly Very Proud

THE LABYRINTH — 47 Year Old Mark Gustiano was laid off from his factory job nine months ago. Mark decided to make the best of his situation and devote some of his extra time to a long neglected passion project. Building a Labyrinth. However, as Mark will tell you things quickly got out of hand. 

“Some people like to read mysteries or do jigsaws. But me, I’m a Labyrinth kinda guy,” said Gustiano. “Something about a structure so dizzyingly complex that no coherent path can be drawn through it just sounds really cool to me. I’ve always wanted to build one of my own, but just never had the time. Now that I’ve been laid off and my wife is able to keep us afloat for a little while, it feels like if I don’t do this now, I might never.” 

Mark began what would turn into a 9 month construction project on his Labyrinth. His wife, Gabriella Gustiano, while not thrilled with the construction, was supportive throughout the early days of the build. 

“He was never really happy at the factory,” said Gabriella. “But the second he got laid off and I mentioned that now could be the time to build his maze or whatever, he’s found a new spark. While I wish that his passion was less invasive in our one bedroom apartment, I am happy to see the man I love looking alive for the first time in years.” 

After nine months of construction Mark was ready to do the final walkthrough of his Labyrinth to make sure everything was ready. But while attempting to find the Labyrinth’s center Mark found himself going in circles. 

“The first step in making any Labyrinth is the distortion of space time, so while yes the Labyrinth took up about 80% of our one bedroom apartment. I managed to squeeze roughly 1,000 miles of interwoven pathways bordered by unscalable walls. Needless to say I was pretty proud of myself. But after three days of trying to find the Labyrinth’s center and ensure that its mysterious prize lay waiting for any of those bold enough to claim it. Before I knew it, I was walking through parts of the Labyrinth I had no recollection of making.” 

In making his Labyrinth and filling it with the standard creatures and imps that any good Labyrinth had. Mark had inadvertently made a puzzle he was unable to conquer, and he couldn’t have been more proud. 

“I’m absolutely lost.” Mark giggled. “I know that I should be frightened or worried about finding my way back to my family. But I’m a pretty good Labyrinth runner, and I can’t help but pat myself on the back a little for making something this challenging. Of course I’m working my hardest to carve a path to the Labyrinths center and make my way back home. But another part of me wants to die here, my skeletal remains a testament to my genius. 

At press time, Mark is still stuck inside his Labyrinth. Luckily he entered with several weeks worth of food and remains in high spirits. Gabriella has considered attempting to rescue her husband, but the joyous giggles that occasionally echo off of the endless walls of the maze assure her that her husband is right where he needs to be right now.