Strait of Hormuz Left Wide Open During World Cup Finals

THE ENTIRE WORLD — Tensions between the U.S. and Iran have continued to escalate over the last few weeks. The U.S. has reinstituted a Naval blockade within the strait, and continued to carry out strikes on Iran. However all hostilities within the region have reportedly stopped during the World Cup Finals between England and Argentina. 

“Yeah everything was kinda turning to shit there for a second,” Said U.S. Naval Commander Thomas Green. “But then we figured fuck it, lets just sit down and watch the game. If any boats wanted to get by, who cares?”

As Green and his crew left their posts to watch the game. They expected enemy combatants to enter the strait attempting to force them out. However, as Commander Green went to grab another beer he noticed something strange. 

“I was grabbing a beer from the back of the fridge and I happened to look out the window. Over the past couple months there has always been something going on in this damn strait. It’s one of the most important water ways on the planet! But when I looked out there, there wasn’t a soul on the water. Even the water itself looked calmer.” 

Green, while confused at the sight of the abandoned water way, didn’t have much time to dwell on the subject. As he rushed back to continue watching the game. Iranian forces expressed similar disbelief in the events. 

“For months and months, all we get is reports of strikes coming in across the country. I’ve actually had to mute the slack channel just for my own sanity,” said Iranian Supreme Leader Mojtaba Hosseini. “But since the start of the finals, the only sound is the familiar tune of people yelling at their TVs with every shot attempt.”  

At press time, the finals are still ongoing. Military action within the waterway is expected to resume alongside the final whistle. President Trump is hoping the conflict will end once and for all, on the 19th with the Championship match. While we here at the Associated Jest lost interest in event as soon as that funny Norwegian guy was knocked out, it still gives us hope to see the world united in something for a change.