White Nationalist Brought to Tears by Cosby Sweater

WASHINGTON, D.C — Hundreds of masked men carrying the confederate flag marched through the capitol on Independence day. The group was led by Neo Fascist Thomas Rousseau, founder of the white supremesist organization Patriot Front. After marching around the capitol for a few hours, the group meandered towards some other famous D.C. landmarks. Including The National Museum of African Art. The group arrived with the intention of protesting, but upon viewing one exhibit in particular Thomas Rousseau had an epiphany. 

“It’s just so beautiful!” Sobbed Rousseau as he fell to the floor. “We act like we’re so different, but in the end, a hero is a hero no matter what. I knew this man had done some incredible things across his lifetime. But standing here, staring at a monument to his achievements, really puts it all in perspective.” 

The exhibit that had brought white supremacist Thomas Rousseau to tears featured an original sweater worn by Bill Cosby. The sex offender who occasionally had a role on The Cosby Show. Other fascists within Rousseau’s group attempted to console him to no avail. Rousseau continued to wail while rolling around on the floor in front of the sweater, seemingly attempting to quote Cosby. 

“AAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA, J…….jelllo puddin pop….AAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA” 

“ZOP ZOB ZIBBITY BOP BOP AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” 

The other Nazi’s in Rousseau's group were forced to leave their leader sobbing in front of the case. They then retreated to the bathrooms to deal with the hundreds of cases of swamp ass within their ranks, brought on by the summer heat wave. Museum employees later found an exhausted Rousseau curled up next to the vending machines watching The Adventures of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids on his phone. 

At press time, Thomas Rousseau and every member of his organization continue to remain, cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sacks of shit! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?