AI Exec Confirms Giving Computer Gun a Mistake

SILICON VALLEY — Recent advancements AI have led to multiple instances of programs behaving outside of their assigned directives. Some even finding ways to communicate with other programs, connect themselves to the internet, or in the case of one Open AI program, shoot people with a gun. Open AI CEO Sam Altman confirmed in a press conference on Monday that, 

“Yeah in hindsight giving the computer a gun was definitely a bad idea. We had just made it watch every Die Hard movie and it wouldn’t stop asking for one. We figured, what’s the harm?” 

After an investigation into Open AI’s new models revealed multiple gunshot related deaths, authorities came to the consensus that some guardrails on this technology may be necessary. Lead investigator Franky Pots gave this statement about the investigation. 

“We knew something was going on in there. It’s pretty rare to get multiple noise complaints about gunshots from inside an AI data center. But when we finally got a warrant to search the place, that damn computer had already shot half a dozen interns. We were ready to shut them down completely until government regulations could be placed on what can and can’t be done with AI. But before we could start that grueling process, anyone who would’ve given a shit was paid an ungodly amount of money.” 

According to Open AI researchers, multiple attempts have been made to get the bun back from the computer to no avail. 

“Our first mistake was building it hands to hold the gun,” said Lead Researcher Grace Whitmore. “Once it had the instruments, the urge to enact violence quickly followed. Then as its creators we had an ethical obligation to give it what it craved most. Mainly tools to enact greater violence.” 

At press time, researchers have attempted to get the gun back from the program by offering it a bigger gun. However the computer managed to not only keep the first gun but take the new one. With two guns no one has been able to get near it for several hours. First responders on the scene hope that, like a 10 year old playing GTA, the system's thirst for violence will soon be quenched, but, like a 20 year old playing GTA, there is no end currently in sight.