Chuck E. Cheese Spotted Leaving Minnie Mouse Residence

Anaheim, CA — Famous Entertainment Mogul and Restauranteur Charles Entertainment Cheese was spotted by the press slipping out the backdoor of the known residence of Ms. Minnie Mouse late last Friday. 

“I’ve seen that rat sneaking in and out of the place for months now!” Said local cafe owner Daisy Duck. “I come in around 4 every morning to start baking and the past couple of times I’ve seen him slipping out the back window around that same time. I always knew Mickey wasn’t packing much in those little overalls, but I thought Minnie at least had more respect for him.” 

According to our anonymous source, Mickey and Minnie have been at odds for weeks now. The couple have had multiple public arguments while working with one another within the Disney Parks. 

“HYUCK," our source began. "those two are like one big fight away from a divorce, I’ll tell ya. We were out there meeting some of the kiddos, and Minnie went to hug this one little boy. Then Ol’ Mick went berserk, calling her a dirty hoe. I said “well, gorsh Mickey calm down. He’s just a boy”. But he wasn’t having it. The kid was pretty shaken up, but it was nothing a few rounds of the Hot Dog dance couldn’t fix.” 

News of the affair has also affected operations within Chuck E. Cheese Entertainment, notably within Munch's Make Believe Band, as Vocalist Helen Henny told reporters that she, too, had a history with Mr. Cheese.

“I think it was the summer of '98. I got a letter in the mail, no return address. Inside there was a check for $200 and the memo listed “Chuck's half of the abortion”. Things were great in the beginning. We’d play sold out shows to pizza-crazed fans, then afterwards Chuck and I would go backstage and he would ruffle these feathers like no man ever has. But everything went bad when one night after rehearsal I caught Munch tongue deep in Chuck's ass. After that he wouldn’t even look at me. To make things worse, that's when I found out about the baby.” 

At press time, Mickey and Chuck are set to meet at the neutral location of Universal Studios Orlando for pistols at dawn. Some attempt at reconciliation was made by the two men's Seconds in Command before the duel. But the language barrier between Pasqually P. Pieplate and Donald Duck dashed any chance at peace. The victor of the duel is set to win the hand of Minnie Mouse as well as Fast Passes for The Velocicoaster.