Juggler Eagerly Awaits Birth of Third Child

CLEVELAND, OH — 33-year-old Helen Postly was admitted to the maternity ward at Jefferson Community Hospital late last Monday. Her husband, Kevin Postly couldn’t have been more thrilled. But not for reasons you might expect, as Kevin explained to press in between his wife’s contractions.

“This is going to be a huge turning point in my professional career. I’m a juggler by trade. While the birth of my first two children was of course life changing, I’m going to be able to do way more sick tricks now that we’ve finally got a third.”

Mark is what is known as a professional juggler. Making money from performances at county fairs and birthday parties, as well as from competition events. While the money isn’t always great, Helen is able to keep the family afloat. Despite not contributing much financially, Mark claims that he helps out in other ways.

“Yeah, she may pay the rent, the utilities, the kids' private school, the groceries, my PlayStation Plus, all the streaming subscriptions, and my subscription to Up in the Air Magazine. But what do you think the kids are prouder of, their mother keeping the family afloat or me being closer than ever to learning Mills' Mess?”

Despite Cleveland's vibrant juggling community, Kevin was unable to carve a place for himself in this competitive field. He needed something to set him apart.

“Our babies were always so fat and round.” Said Kevin “I knew the risks of trying it out. But the rewards were too tempting. I tried it with the first two and it was a great success but still didn’t have that wow factor. So, I jumped straight into bed with Helen and had the wild passionate sex of a juggler with a vision.”

At press time, Helen is heavily sedated and beginning to push. Kevin has set up shop between her stirrups, with each of their previous children in one hand. The second their third clears the birth canal, Kevin plans to make history, and depending on how that goes possibly incorporate the afterbirth.