Local Man Undefeated Against LeBron

PINE BLUFF, Ark. — A true stand-out player in the Pine Bluff Community Center Men's Recreational League, local shooting guard Derek Sawyer, 36, has reportedly never lost a game to 4-time NBA Most Valuable Player Lebron James of the Los Angeles Lakers.

"What can I say?" posited Sawyer while pump-faking an imaginary defender, "I never lose. Never. Especially to LeBron. How many people can really say that? Everybody hypes LeBron as a legend, a titan of the game, but he's never beat me. I dare somebody to prove me wrong. Some people might try to argue and say things like 'Of course you've never beat LeBron. You've never played him. Even if you wanted to, he's the GOAT. You're never getting anywhere near LeBron.' But people just like to spread negativity, and I try not to listen to that."

Sawyer certainly talks a big game, but do his skills match the hype? Not quite, according to Sawyer's rec league teammate Ron Tousse.

"What did he say? Of course he loses!" said Tousse, who's played for the Hoop Troop with Sawyer going on 8 seasons. "Last year, we lost 13 games in a row. Derek scored three points all season, and they were all free throws. The man is terrible, but we love the game. Derek's a good guy, and he tries his best, but up against a pro? Although now that I think about it, I've never actually seen him lose to LeBron."

While LeBron James could not be reached for comment, fellow Los Angeles Laker Luka Doncic was all too eager to weigh in on James's behalf.

"Why do I think LeBron's never gone up against Sawyer? Honestly, I think Bron might be scared. I remember Sawyer tweeted something at Lebron once. Something along the lines of '@King James You. Me. Pine Bluff Community Center. Bring a ball.' Me and James had a good laugh about it, like 'this guy doesn't even have a ball?' But I saw something in LeBron's eyes while he was laughing. I saw real fear. It was subtle, but the fear was there."

At press time, Sawyer also boasts that he has never been bested in an NBA playoff game.