Chris Pratt 'Not Sure' Why God Created Good Egg Galaxy

NEW YORK — “Super Mario Galaxy” star Chris Pratt found himself unusually speechless during an appearance on The Today Show last week after being asked just why God created the “Good Egg Galaxy.”

“It… It’s an interesting question you pose,” said Pratt, following 4 straight minutes of careful thought. “I guess I would say the ‘why?’ of it all is silly to focus on. The Almighty often does things for reasons we cannot hope to understand. All we can do is trust His plan and sometimes, that plan involves creating an entire star system revolving around a colossal spotted egg.”

Talking with reporters immediately following the interview, a visibly shaken Pratt attempted to explain the reason he was caught off-guard.

“You have to understand, it’s such a simple question and yet, so profound. I heard that question and I thought ‘Wow, finally we’re having the right conversations as a people.’ It reminded me exactly why I do this kind of work: to remind people that God’s deeds are awe-inspiring and, at times, even unbelievable.”

Not everyone was satisfied with Pratt’s answer, however, with some theologians believing we do have an answer to the so-called “Good Egg Dilemma.”

“If you really go back, deep into the Old Testament, the Good Egg Galaxy was foretold for centuries.” explained St. John’s University Associate Professor of Theology Dr. Noah Levi. As far back as the book of Exodus, God tells Moses that before the Israelites conquer Canaan, they would need to wander 40 years through a large maze nested inside a cosmic gel capsule. The ancient Israelites would have had no way of knowing what God meant. But nowadays, we have a greater context for these divine actions.”

At press time, Pratt is giving a spirited sermon on all the visible signs of God’s Love present in the Melty Molten Galaxy.