First House Fly of the Season Eagerly Rubs Little Hands Together

YOUR HOME — The Northern Hemisphere has been in spring for nearly a month now. While weather conditions vary wildly depending on your location across the country. Spring is guaranteed to bring at least one constant for everyone, Flies. Whether it’s a whole swarm or a single insect, they will find their way into your home. Which any bug will tell you is no easy feat. 

“My Great Great Great Great Grandfather told stories about this place, it’s amazing to finally see it with my own compound eyes.” Said the first house fly of the season. “The field I grew up in a few days ago was no place to raise larva. But between all the crumbs you leave out, and your subscription to HBO MAX, I’m ready to call this place home.” 

This house fly like many bugs in your area, is looking for a new home to celebrate the coming spring. While the outside does have its own rustic charm. Any bug will agree that there's no place quite like your home to raise a family. 

“For one thing the school districts are amazing in this neighborhood.” Said the house fly. “My wife and I are expecting to have anywhere between 75 to 150 larvae in whatever decaying organic matter we can find around your place. We’ve had our eyes on that box of leftovers that’s been on the counter for the past week but we’re still looking.” 

But like any living situation your home isn’t perfect. There are certain dangers that come with moving indoors. Especially for a family of Flies. 

“I’m sure you think that the greatest danger in your home is you. But that’s simply not the case. Sure you try and swat at us with rolled up magazines. But you’re so slow it’s really just good for a laugh. The biggest thing we have to watch out for is spiders. You don’t know this, but there are literally hundreds under your furniture and in your walls. If we land for too long in some parts of the house, we’re dead.” 

Despite the risks this housefly is excited to move into your home. With him blazing the trail, there are sure to be plenty more to come. 

“I already wrote a couple letters to cousins out by the pond. They’ve been having some issues with frogs since the weather warmed up. I told them you’ve got more than enough space for the whole family!” 

At press time, the first house fly of the season has already lived a full life with his wife and children within the walls of your home. As he prepares to fly towards that big light at the end of the porch, he wants you to know “It could have been anyone’s house that I wandered into, but I’m glad it was yours”.