Land Lord Also Renting

CHICAGO, IL — 28-year-old Marsha Brown knows that everyone is struggling right now. But when the usual nagging for rent from her landlord turned to panicked pleading, she knew something was up. Marsha discovered that her landlord, 59-year-old Frank Hubbard, was also renting. Downstairs sources confirmed. 

“When I first got the place I was super excited,” Said Brown. “But then the usual “Hey, just a reminder rent is due on Tuesday.” Turned into “MOOOONNNNNNEEEYYYYYYY NOOOOWWWWWWWWW PLEASSEEEEEE!!!! MARSHA I’M SO FUCKED, COME ONN!” Which caught me a little by surprise. 

After some digging on social media, Marsha discovered several pictures of her landlord's living space. With a keen eye for detail she noticed the unpainted walls covered with command strips, a broken washing machine, and a stove with only a single working burner. Key signs that led her to the conclusion that, 

“The son of a bitch was also renting! Personally I always liked to think that my rent was going towards the electric bill of some McMansion or something. But no, I’m paying $1,300 a month so this asshole can sit in a studio and watch Roku City scroll on by.” 

Marsha’s landlord Frank confirmed that while he did live in what could be called a McMansion at one point. Things have since changed. Thanks to a heavy “investment” in the San Antonio Spurs, Frank had lost nearly everything. Including the right to collect rent from 90% of the units in Marsha’s building. 

“They were do for a comeback! The people who write the scripts for that stuff should’ve known that a game seven faceoff with the underdogs pulling through makes for much better television. But I lost it all. The bank wanted to take the whole building. I told them I’d be left out on the street. What did they expect me to do, grind away all week at some job I hate just to barely afford one of the units I used to overcharge people for. So they relented and let me collect rent from two or three units. Just enough for me to get by. The toughest part is knowing that their money isn't going straight into my pocket, but the pocket of some other douche who probably put it all on the Knicks.” 

At press time, Marsha has withheld rent from Frank pending several major repairs to her living space. Frank, unable to pay his own rent without Marsha’s money, quickly discovered that his landlord was also, also renting. Unfortunately for Frank his landlord “ain’t afraid to cut a bitch, to get what he's owed”. It is yet unknown how many people were subsisting solely off of Marsha’s rent.