Sabrina Carpenter Botches Residential Framing Job

SCHAUMBURG IL — “Yeah this whole section is going to have to be redone,” Said Foreman Mike Limbazo, shaking his head at pop star Sabrina Carpenter. After several grueling months on tour, Sabrina Carpenter told press she looked forward to devoting more time to her namesake and true passion, carpentry.

But after landing a framing job with a local company Ms. Carpenter quickly received some stark criticism. “You forgot a header over this window opening, so there’s no world where this is going to hold weight." said a furious Limbazo, "your blocking is an absolute wreck, any kind of fire is going straight through this stud bay like a damn chimney, and worst of all you used untreated lumber for the mud sill. This board will be leaching moisture from the masonry quicker than a Juno pose”.

After questioning, Ms. Carpenter confessed that most of her experience was in finish and formwork.

At press time, Mike and his crew have gone to work repairing the damage, and are heavily vetting rock band AC/DC before any electrical work is done. Ms. Carpenter has left the crew for now, with the intention of getting her HVAC certification.