Teen Celebrates Earth Day by Vaping Outside

SPRINGFIELD, MO — Established April 22nd 1970, Earth Day continues to be a day of celebration in the name of the place we call home. For years celebrations included Trash Pickups, Community Awareness Events, and other efforts made to benefit our environment. One local teen has taken this message to heart; and out of respect for the environment, elected to vape outside. Needless to say his community was very proud as his parents will tell you.

“We’re really happy to see our son taking pride in his space, and going that extra mile.” Said Kelsey Franklin, Mother of 19 Year Old Casey Franklin. 

“I’d almost forgotten what fresh air smelled like. This place has smelt like a Cotton Candy Elf Bar for months now.” Said Casey’s Father Doug. 

Word of Casey’s good deeds spread across social media. Even gaining the attention of the President of the United States, who posted 

“THIS IS A STUPID FUCKING HOILIDAY.” 

The president posted this alongside an AI video of himself as Galactic Jesus attempting to heal the planet with comic rays. The President later claimed he thought the figure was The Statue of Liberty. 

Despite massive media attention, Casey has made clear he wants to keep it about the message. In an interview with 60 minutes Casey said.

“The environment we’ve been handed is not the same one the founders of this holiday wanted to save. One day a year isn’t enough. It’s become obvious that the good of the scorpion is not the good of the frog. Look at what’s happening, The Boundary Waters are being sold to mining companies, we’re defunding our national parks, the current gerontocracy has no issue ruining the planet for short term gain. Because they’ll be long gone by the time the bill comes due. That’s why this year I came up from the basement, and vaped in the backyard for a few hours.” 

At press time, Casey has teamed up with Greta Thurn Burg, and the Rizzler. With the hopes of forming a group of the next generations greatest thought leaders. He hopes that by combining their considerable resources a real difference may be made in the fight for a planet that they, and everyone else can be free to enjoy.