Black Spy, Numbuh 1 Among Latest CIA Whistleblowers

LONDON — Former CIA Agents Black Spy and Niegel "Numbuh 1" Uno blew the whistle on the United States' notorious intelligence agency last week during an appearance on the British podcast The Diary of a CEO.

The two ex-agents' appearance came hot on the tails of a similar interview with former CIA agent John Kiriakou on the same show, though each guest took a markedly different approach to the interview in comparison to Kiriakou.

"My time with the agency was wonderful." revealed Numbuh 1, "Never a dull moment in that office. And I'm proud to say I accrued a record-setting 230 confirmed kills in service of our great nation. In the late '90s, I quickly rose through the ranks as one of the top collectors of intel leading up to Operation Jawbreaker. In 2011, I was all over the Bin Laden assassination, but my proudest achievement? I had the honor of ordering the missile strike that eliminated infamous terrorist group Delightful Children From Down the Lane."

Black Spy's responses, on the other hand, were mostly non-verbal. After being asked if he had ever taken a life during his tenure, Black Spy flipped a hidden switch, which launched Numbuh 1's seat into the air, impaling the Kid Next Door on 8-inch spikes hanging from the ceiling, killing him instantly.

The Diary of a CEO host Steven Bartlett expressed extreme gratitude for the agents' willingness to come on his show.

"I was honored to speak to those gentlemen, but it was bittersweet in a way." said Bartlett, "Looking into both of their eyes, I could see a complex mix of emotions. On the one hand, I could see immense pride for all the good they had done, the lives they'd saved. But there was pain, too. That job changes people. For better or worse, I can't exactly say, but that kind of work has an indelible impact to be sure."

At press time, fans eagerly await Bartlett's upcoming interview with former special agent Kim Possible.