Doghouse Becoming Pipe Dream for Debt-Ridden Pets

BOISE, Idaho – Amidst ballooning mortgage costs and the looming threat of another recession, cash-strapped pets in Idaho and across the United States have all but given up hope on the prospect of homeowning, quadripedal sources confirm.

“The market really is ruff [sic] right now, especially for younger pets.” said Luna, a local Pekingese. “With so many pets struggling to make ends meet as it is, home ownership is the last thing on our minds. So for now, we’re stuck in this hellish renter’s market. It’s a nightmare.

This news comes as no surprise to many, as Home Economist Laura Chartreuse explained.

“This is yet another symptom of an economy that’s been bleeding out for decades, harshly impacting old and young pets alike,” said Chartreuse. “Gone are the days of ‘wet food in every bowl, and a tree in every yard.’ It used to be that a Seeing Eye dog could support a family, buy a dog house, and retire by 55, but today’s service pets can hardly see an end in sight.”

Dogs aren’t the only ones being affected, however, as Moose, a local Netherland Dwarf Rabbit, was eager to share.

“I’ve been living in a literal shoebox, cutting back on spending, and working three jobs trying to put hay on the table,” said Moose. “But somehow, it’s never enough. And I’m lucky, I only need to feed myself. I can’t imagine what it’s like trying to raise a colony right now.”

At press time, your beloved family pet is nine hours into an Uber shift that might cover the cost of gas.