Nice! Dad's Second Family Also Into Warhammer

WEST LINN, Ore. — What could have been an extremely awkward encounter turned out to be a unique bonding opportunity for the family of local man Gil Montgomery, who finally admitted to having a secret second family... that also loves playing miniature wargame Warhammer 40K.

"Yeah, you know, I was pretty shocked when we found out Dad was hiding a second family from us for our entire lives," said daughter Chloe Montgomery, 14. "At first I was pissed but then I saw the Imperium flag on the wall, and suddenly I couldn't remember why I was mad."

Shockingly, many of the Montgomerys' shared similar sentiments.

"Look, obviously I should be mad." said Marie Montgomery, who's been married to Gil going on 18 years now. "But come on! Their armies are sick as fuck. They have to have sculpted some of these mini's themselves 'cause I've been searching online markets and I can't find any of them. Also, who doesn't have a second family? I've got two or three myself, and they almost never play Warhammer with me."

Afterward, Gil Montgomery told reporters that he intentionally introduced his two families, and for a very good reason.

"Both families were running out of people to play with." said Gil, "I mean sure, wiping the floor with my son's neon orange Skyreavers was fun the first few times but after a while it gets old. I could tell the rest of the family felt the same. We needed fresh opposition. So I thought, 'I know someone who has hundreds of Death Guard patrols just waiting to be bloodied.' I knew right then what I had to do.

At press time, gruesome screams thunder hopelessly across the chasms of Vigilus, almost loud enough to drown out the pain of finding out your father started a whole other family cause he didn't wanna put up with your shit. Almost.