Lebron Flies to Dagobah System for Offseason Training

A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY - LA Lakers star LeBron James has informed the team that he will be spending his offseason in the Dagobah System to train with long-time mentor Yoda.

“Look, man. I’m 42. Last time I went out there was the summer before my first MVP. [I’m] looking forward to getting back with Yoda, getting back in touch with the Force, things of that nature” James commented. “Whatever I can do to extend my playing career, I’m gonna do it. Whether that’s force-lifting an X-Wing out of the swamp or carrying Yoda on my back, whatever the case may be, I’m willing to do it to keep my playing days ahead of me.”

Yoda, who oversaw the training of notable greats such as Michael Jordan, responded to request for comment. “Finished, he is not. Fifty-Thousand points, his future holds. Greatest of all time, he will be.”

LeBron also says he intends on bringing his son Bronny in lieu of a traditional astromech droid. “It’ll be good experience for him out on that wing, and even better to get some face-to-face action with Yoda. We’re gonna work him, I’ll tell you that. We gonna work him.”

LeBron, a 2026 Free Agent, has his pick of teams to join in the offseason. Lakers GM Rob Pelinka made it a point to be gracious about his extracurricular activities in hopes of bringing him back for next season. “With such a heavy load this postseason, we’re on board with whatever offseason rejuvenation LeBron wants to pursue” said Pelinka. “We did stipulate that any contact with the Hutt’s would be disagreeable, but I trust LeBron not to make decisions that might jeopardize his future in the league.”

At press time, other teams across the association have shown clear interest in LeBron’s talents, regardless of age. Notably, Miami Heat GM Pat Riley made a recent comment that urged James to “Return to the Dark Side.” Riley refused further comment.