Police Dogs Proud to Uphold Thin Grey Line

TRENTON, NJ — Last month, the Trenton PD’s brand-new K-9 unit hit the streets, marking the first deployment of police dogs in the city’s history. The dogs have been assisting the local police force in routine duties across the city. The dogs, as they report, have been “extremely proud” to join the fight to uphold the Thin Grey Line between order and chaos.

“We're ecstatic to finally be joining the Boys in Grey  here in Trenton.” said officer Rex, a loose-cannon English Greyhound. “For years, we've admired the officers from afar, but no longer. Now, we’re out in the thick of it, assisting in routine duties like hazing citizens, terrorizing neighborhoods, and brainstorming creative ways to squander taxpayer dollars. All in the name of justice, of course.”

Not all the Force's dogs seem to be as dedicated to the cause, however, as evidenced by purebred Belgian Shepherd and self-proclaimed “bad boy” Milo.

“Me? I'm mostly in it for the clout.” Said Milo, shortly after barking dutifully at a passing Mitsubishi. “Before I put on the badge, I couldn't get a lick of respect in this town. But now… That's all changed. People respect me now, fear me even. When people see the grey and grey flash from the top of my cruiser, they act right. That kind of thing just comes with the uniform. Plus, you know, bluechew has a discount for cops so there's a lot of perks.”

While many seem to be fitting in fine, some of the K-9s have had a harder time adjusting to cop culture, as one Pekingese named Snowball explained.

“The force can definitely be pretty clique-y,” described Snowball. “For one thing, all the other dogs are way bigger than I am, and most of them have cool tough-guy names, so they don't like me much. But also, there's a lot of cop slang I don't really understand. A few of the guys were talking about how they didn't much like the new orders coming down from City Hall. One of ‘em said he might be coming down with the ‘blue flu.’ that seemed pretty odd to me. I have no clue what him being sick has to do with City Hall, but also, what the hell is ‘blue?’”

At press time, several of the K-9 officers have already gotten matching “Back the Grey” tattoos.