Sudan Conflict Not Even Close to How Co-Worker Described

ARBY’S KITCHEN -- Last night, amidst the final stretch of the midnight drive-thru dinner rush, experienced line cook Jeff proposed the staff engage in a discussion of global conflicts to make the work fly by. 

Rookie cashier Luis Fonz chimed into the conversation shouting, “Oh yeah, what’s happening in Sudan right now is crazy dude, glad the RSF is protecting the communities and citizens that really matter, finally some half decent change is happening around there.” He said with a shrug.

The kitchen immediately fell silent, witnesses report. With the drive-through at a sudden standstill, all eyes turned to face the disgusting statement uttered by unwavering lips. 

“Woah there Luis,” responded Jeff. “Don’t you think it’s at all possible that you may be a little uneducated on this issue? The RSF (Rapid Support Forces) have been accused of committing genocide by the International Criminal Court in the Darfur region, throughout the cities of El Fasher and El Geneina. Sudanese Human Rights Watch describe them as “a fascist decentralized militia” with the intent to systematically starve, kill, and rape the non-Arab population. This is an ongoing, urgent humanitarian crisis the world is turning a blind eye to, and we cannot allow that rhetoric to spread for even a second. Furthermore, the RSF is being directly funded by the UAE due to the gold mines under RSF control. Over 11 million people have been displaced with hundreds of thousands dead, with no end in sight.”

Before Luis could respond Jeff continued explaining to kitchen staff and line of impatient customers, “On the other side of the Civil War you have SAF (Sudanese Armed Forces) who are struggling to fight back against the RSF, attempting to retake regions after the attack on SAF bases in April 2023. This is the largest humanitarian conflict in the world where millions of civilians and children suffer the cost. So please, do the research, and give an ounce of care to our fellow man. All we have is each other.” He let out a sigh and returned to stare down at the hot stove.

When approached for comment, one restaurant patron responded, “I’m just tryna get a Classic Beef ’N Cheddar with a Dr. Pepper, man.”