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Argentina Hoping for Redemption in World Series
BUENOS AIRES — Looking to make a comeback following their loss to Spain in this year’s World Cup Final, Argentine Football Association President Claudio Tapia announced this morning that Argentina’s national team has already begun training for their next big challenge: Major League Baseball’s highly-coveted World Series Championship. “This is far from the last that sports fans will hear from Argentina this year.” Tapia boldly informed reporters during a press conference outsi
Jacob Albrecht
Cartoons
Politics
Argentina Hoping for Redemption in World Series
BUENOS AIRES — Looking to make a comeback following their loss to Spain in this year’s World Cup Final, Argentine Football Association President Claudio Tapia announced this morning that Argentina’s national team has already begun training for their next big challenge: Major League Baseball’s highly-coveted World Series Championship. “This is far from the last that sports fans will hear from Argentina this year.” Tapia boldly informed reporters during a press conference outsi
Embarrassed Lettuce Farmer Confesses to Shitting in Field
MICHIGAN — Lettuce Farmer Arthur Ferris recently came clean. With the recent outbreak of stomach parasites spreading across the U.S. Arthur knew it was only a matter of time before it would be traced back to him. Looking to avoid jail time, Arthur gave the police this statement, “I’VE BEEN SHITTING IN THE LETTUCE FIELD FOR YEARS!” Arthur screamed in between sobs. “I have nearly 1,500 acres that I’m maintaining. If I’m all the way at the far end of the pasture and nature calls
Strait of Hormuz Left Wide Open During World Cup Finals
THE ENTIRE WORLD — Tensions between the U.S. and Iran have continued to escalate over the last few weeks. The U.S. has reinstituted a Naval blockade within the strait, and continued to carry out strikes on Iran. However all hostilities within the region have reportedly stopped during the World Cup Finals between England and Argentina. “Yeah everything was kinda turning to shit there for a second,” Said U.S. Naval Commander Thomas Green. “But then we figured fuck it, lets jus
Nation Still Pretending Mitch McConnell Alive
WASHINGTON — The United States of America remains reportedly resolute in acting as if Republican Senator Mitch McConnell is still alive despite mounting evidence to the contrary, sources you can definitely trust report. “Senator McConnell is more alive than anyone has ever been.” White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt assured reporters Friday evening. “Just this morning, I saw him doing cartwheels in front of the Capitol building. The man is fine, great actually. We’ve
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